Let. There. Be. Faith.

In life, oftentimes we are waiting for something; waiting for a dream to come to pass, waiting to meet the right person, waiting for a problem to turn around. When things aren’t happening as fast as we would like, it’s easy to get frustrated. 

But you have to realize that the moment you prayed,God/universe/the divine (whatever mighty power you believe in has established a set time to bring the promise to pass.

There is always a set time for your opportunity. 

There is a set time for that problem to turn around, a set time for your healing, your promotion, your breakthrough. 

It may be tomorrow, or next week, or five years from now. But when you understand the time has already been set, it takes all the pressure off. 

You won’t live worried, wondering when this is ever going to happen. 

You’ll relax and enjoy your life knowing that the promise has already been scheduled and your answer is on the way!

Affirmation for today:

I choose to trust in the right timing. I trust that this life has my best in mind. I believe that It is working behind the scenes on my behalf. Thank You for all the blessing I already have and for ordering my steps in the future and leading me in the life of blessing that is in store for me. Amen.

Mustard Seed Grows

I watch. I wait. I Pray.

Some call it courage. Some foolish and some unbelievable!

I call it faith.

The unknown is always difficult, not knowing what plans will be full filled and what will never see the light is even more disheartening.

Even months before, I knew I was going to lose my job, I had an impending fear that unemployment was on the horizon, the abnormal working hours the constant threats, unending bills and debt from when I had cared for my ailing mother hang over me like a guillotine.

But I was and I feel blessed of having that knowledge in advance. 

Assuring, unwavering and matter of fact!

I had to find ' the key'  to my financial plan. 

I have x amount as salary, and xx amounts goes out for payment which leave me a total of ‘0’ as saving, simply said I live like... lord give me today my daily bread - salary to salary.

So throughout my anticipation of the D-day  - I have no back plan or financial aid.

If there’s one thing I've been reminded of is that God’s timing is never our own.

Employment loss - I : I honestly thought I would have only 4-6 months of unemployment, yet it ended up being almost one year and a half after my mother passed away in September 2010, that I landed a job with 60% cut in pay and benefits that was no coincidence. 

Employment Loss - II - It was all part of my story.

The 2nd job came at the right time.

It paid for my pending debt, my rent and food. I lost many friends and gained and lost even more. From age 30 – I jumped the scale to 60 ;) in emotional roller coaster ride. 

I can even say I became passionate about living below my means and was hard pressed to find areas in my budget to cut, yet as time went on I felt my daily manna was provided for and my life got streamlined and I honed my saving skills. (i.e. gather all the coins around the house and finally put then in one tin can)

And yet I did not feel I was lacking in anything, I knew and know I was and am living large than most of the people.

It was a time of growth. A time of hard lessons and forced wisdom!

Because whether you’re in the midst of financial uncertainty or not, dealing with the long term unknown is one of the hardest lessons I’ve wrestled with in a short time.

So this brings me to Gods Watch over us… and how do you keep cheerful and wait for it… CALM DOWN and CARRY ON!

For all those who do not believe in God then call it Higher power or illuminating Tree or the shining apple! As long as you have something to believe in, hoping that something is just around the corner and you point out and say hey! Surprise me!

When someone is unemployed they talk in hushed tones like it’s a crime you have committed. You know what no matter how much ever you have done, given your bestest, you will or may still get laid off or maybe you are one those who will win the longest employment award.

Al I can say is that the thoughts and emotions surrounding a job loss are so intense that it can feel as if you've been kicked in the ribs.

So as a catholic, I am lucky to have a book (survival kit) to emotional stability to say that I am/ you are not alone in this (psalm 23)… simply put, how to overcome the stigma of unemployment, maintain the right state of mind, apply for unemployment benefits, thrive while unemployed, and find new job opportunities 1:1

Even though I right now am unemployed and sound like a cherry on top of a cake, I wish I could say that I've always kept the faith. But there were times when I had lost my hope. 

I wish I could say that I am more prepared for "the next time" should it happen again. But I am still learning to walk this long, and often lonely road.

It's been a long, hard journey. But despite the valley:

I know that God is good. 

I know that He never leaves our side. 

I know that He will bring me through as I continue to walk forward together, putting my trust in Him. 

My situation rocked me to the core not only once but many times, but in Christ I put my hope, for without Him there is no hope.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. (Romans 15:13)

I had plans and dreams, and some of it might never come to be. 

I need encouragement more than, ever it had contributed to stress, sleepless nights, weight loss, fear, doubt and uncertainty.

But Praise God! I have learnt 

I am my own cheer leader

I give affirmation to myself daily, and multiple times a day. 

I never thought I would do some things just to scrap by and I did and not I am back to pavilion but all is not lost.

Do I get angry with God?

No! But there are days now where I carry so much tension that I get headaches. I can almost feel the anxiety oozing out of me before it leaps from my heart to quench the joy that is buried deep inside.

I tell myself and anyone with a listening ear I am not angry at God. This is the hardest lesson I've learned. Dealing with my own anger my own humbling experience as to why I push Him aside and be determined to deal with things my way.  But since my mom is gone, every day is battle just to surrender it all back into His hands. There is nothing I can do to change our circumstances. He promises to take care of me. He feeds the birds of the air. How much more is His love for us!

Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? (Matthew 6:26)

I thank all who have been my un-named angels, my guides, my shield, my rocks, my whiners  my put on your party shoes. (each in their own style)

So I press on, putting one foot in front of the other, running to the rock Christ Jesus for strength every day! Amen.

The honeymoon never ends

Came across this OSHO write-up and it struck a cord and put into words exactly what state of mind i am at when people do not understand why... i do not prefer tags or words that define people... why cannot two people be free flowing...

Love relates, but it is not a relationship. A relationship is something finished. A relationship is a noun; the full stop has come, the honeymoon is over. Now there is no joy, no enthusiasm, now all is finished. You can carry on with it, just to keep your promises. To do so is comfortable, convenient, and cosy. Perhaps you do it because there is nothing else to do. Perhaps you think that if you disrupt it, it is going to create much trouble for you… Relationship means something complete, finished, and closed.

Love is never a relationship; love is relating. It is always a river, flowing, unending. Love knows no full stop; the honeymoon begins but never ends. It is not a novel that starts at a certain point and ends at a certain point. It is ongoing. Lovers end, love continues. It’s a continuum. It’s a verb, not a noun.

And why do we reduce the beauty of relating to relationship? Because to relate is insecure, and relationship is a security. Relationship has a certainty; relating is just a meeting of two strangers, maybe in the morning we say goodbye. Who knows what the morrow brings? We would like tomorrow to be according to our ideas; so we reduce verbs to nouns.

You are in love and immediately you start thinking of getting married. Make it a legal contract. The law comes
into love because love is not there. It is only a fantasy, and you know the fantasy will disappear.
If you enjoy being with somebody, you would like to enjoy it more and more. If you enjoy the intimacy, you would like to explore the intimacy more and more. And there are a few flowers of love that bloom only after long intimacies. There are seasonal flowers too: within six weeks they are there, in the sun, but another six weeks and they are gone forever. There are flowers that take years to come… The longer it takes, the deeper it goes. But it has to be a commitment from one heart to another. It has not even to be verbalised, because to verbalise it is to profane it. It has to be a silent commitment, eye-to-eye, heart-to-heart, being-to-being. It has to be understood, not said. Forget relationships and learn how to relate.

Relating means you are always starting, you are continuously trying to become acquainted. Again and again, you are introducing yourself to each other. You are trying to see the many facets of the other’s personality.
You are trying to unravel a mystery that cannot be unravelled. That is the joy of love: the exploration of consciousness.

Painless

Though it may sound simple, Ajahn Chah’s advice speaks volumes:

  "If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go alot, you will have a lot of peace"

Our brain is marvelous piece of technology! yes I call it so coz nothing and noone has been able to recreate what god has so uniquely made for FREE!!

Why I say this..? I have been emotionally drained and yet I feel a unsaid hope a feeling I cannot explain that tells me to smile without any reason and look at the lighter side of life, sometimes i think is it my belief in a supernatural power? or just the way I have been brought up i.e. to look at life as half full.

Often we replay past mistakes over and over again in our head, allowing feelings of shame or regret to take shape in our actions in the present.

The last 2 years have been very eventful for me, from losing my job, good friends, lovers and what not..but most of all my mother. I considered myself to be a very emotionally damaged person or somebody who would push or procrastinate feeling by saying for now this goes to my basement and I will deal with it later..

But the most amazing thing about this is that LIFE just kept revealing to me the side of me that I was never aware of... that is; we often cling to frustrations and worry about the future... I wondered how would I look after my mom how will I manage the sick leaves I took from work and yes the loan, the credit cards the rent...oh god how I pay it off. and I wasn't alone in all this ...you know what on one hand the person closest to me understood that I was going down the road to emotional and physical roller coaster there were others who just didn't bother.

I don't want to name names but there were unsung heroes in my life that made me feel much better than what i felt at that moment... you know when your spirit is weak all weird thoughts come into your head ... but at the same time my life took a uncluttered mode.. fake friends just fell off! poof gone.. and true ones just got stronger.

I am a simpleton at heart really am... I cant take hints and even if I give out a strong exterior I am sensitive and easily offended.. in the age of technology its easy to keep in touch with people... but most often we take people for granted... especially our family... when was the last time I said hello to an estranged or distant cousin...haha yes! yes! practice what you preach did i mention I was emotionally damages that included tell someone you love you true feeling... i'd rather sit next to you or buy you a gift or even patiently wait for you to come to meet me or my favorite I always burn a music CD for the ones I love rather than say it..

well enough for now more when I feel I should pour out... all the gibberish in my head..

take cre
Corti

Worthy or Not

People ordinarily think that forgiveness is for those who are worthy of it, who deserve it. But if somebody deserves, is worthy of forgiveness, it is not much of a forgiveness. You are not doing anything on your part; he deserves it. You are not really being love and compassion. Your forgiveness will be authentic only when even those who don't deserve it receive it.

It is not a question of whether a person is worthy or not.

The question is whether your heart is ready or not.


I can forgive the whole world for the simple reason that my forgiveness is absolute; it is nonjudgmental.


I will tell you a small Tibetan story which will make the point absolutely clear to you.

A great old master, worshiped by millions of people, refused to initiate anyone into disciplehood. His whole life, consistently, he was asked by kings, he was asked by very rich people, he was asked by great ascetics, saints, to be initiated as his disciples, and he went on refusing. He would always say, "Unless I find a man who deserves it, unless I find a man who is worthy of it...I am not going to initiate any Tom, Dick, Harry."

He had a small young boy who used to cook food for him, wash his clothes, fetch vegetables from the market. The boy himself had become slowly, slowly old and for his whole life he had been listening to the old man, who had lived almost one hundred years, and without exception the denial: nobody is worthy! "I will die," he said, "without initiating anyone, but I will not initiate anyone who is nondeserving."

People became tired, frustrated. They loved the man, the man had immense qualities, but they could not understand his very stubborn attitude — no kindness, no compassion.

But one morning the old man woke up his companion, who himself had become old, and said to him, "Run immediately down the hills to the marketplace and tell everybody that whoever wants to be initiated must come soon, because this evening as the sun sets I am going to die."

His companion said, "But what about worthiness? I don't know who is worthy and who is not worthy. Who have I to bring?"

The old man said, "Don't worry at all. It was only a device, because I myself was not worthy to initiate anyone, but it was against my dignity to say so. So I chose the other way round.

I was saying, 'Unless I find somebody worthy enough, deserving enough, I am not going to initiate.' The truth is, I was not worthy to be a master. Now I am, but the time is very short. Only this morning as the sun was rising, my own consciousness has also risen to the ultimate peak. Now I am ready. Now it does not matter who is worthy and who is unworthy. What matters now is that I am worthy.

Just go and fetch anybody! Just go and make the whole village aware that this is the last day of my life, and anybody who wants to be initiated should come immediately. Bring as many people as you can."

Everyone wants to be in love!

Everyone wants to be in love!

Everyday people wander in an out of my life and in course of time ....their lives reveal what leads the cogs of my thought process.... its amazing to see how many of us seek love and benefits that we hope it will bring to our lives..... or how much of love we are lacking.

After a bit of observation and a great deal of experience it seems to me that person has to know for sure what they want, rather than who they want.

They need to know the qualities they want in another....

...To me high on that list is goodness:

It is a great quality to insist upon in a loved one...I don't know how many people think of this, but it is extremely important...It covers a whole group of things like kindness, truthfulness, politeness, graciousness, unselfishness, generosity, and wholesomeness.

'To be good is more than following the rules.' It is a sincere and essential quality of the heart.' It lasts.so for now .... I THINK OUT LOUD - Not everyone is in love, as we think of it....That is, in love with another.... But it is possible to be in love with the idea of being in love and stay there until that loved one shows up. ;D