LENT: To Give Up or Not to Give Up...is the question..answer?

Here comes 'LENT' most popular items to 'give up' on lent are , smoking, drinking avoid meats, clubbing some grow a beard... and what nots...Me! How should I do things differently to win my spot in Heaven...
Well lets see.. Should my lent Program be to 'SAVE' Myself or to realize that 'I' have been SAVED by his Sacrifice...

Lets get way back...in time **imagines some background music...I sometimes catch myself saying am so happy being a catholic what would I be if i was born in another household... would it different?...Well I don't know ...the only things I remember are catechism classes, learning prayers (By Heart)...wearing a white dress for the communion and yes... hilarious episode where i got an allergic reaction a day before my confirmation and I was to stand next to my then crush...looking like "Hitch- part II" ...lol!

but as I grew older... and was out of my so called 'Honeymoon' period of life... i realized what it means to have a religion... and the simple power of faith... not to anyone or anything... but that invisible thought that keeps you going...

We live in so much negativity that we we surround ourselves in darkness... this is when our expectations limit raise more than our giving limit... **Giving in realistic terms...

I wish sometimes what if we were connected via iChat or BBM to Jesus or this higher being who guarantee eternal life... (lets get to 'what is eternal life in a bit... please am on a roll :D)

and say...I know there is darkness around me and within me... and I keep making up my mind in a second and change it again in the next... the world is constantly changing... but somehow I always feel I am not in the same speed lane or maybe I am running in the opposite Direction...How can I change this..? do i record every act of generosity or every sacrifice? or every prayer i make before i go to sleep... how do i calculate what is my bit i need to do to get to that final resting place ... the promised to be the highest selling spot..ah! H.E.A.V.E.N

yes! yes! ...now you will day simple dahling...K... its a tough choice...not only between good and evil but choices about what is for the greater good..

so... am so sure I am going to see my FB wall and page filled with wallpapers with quotes from the bible, some very interesting thoughts... but hey..what to do with them... oh! that's nice... and forget about it the moment I close my page...?!?

Or do I get inspired by them..since to easy to be caught up in the day to day of my life...and make simple points to follow.. which as per me are not too cheesy...

so this time its not going to be me...giving up... drinking, eating meat, sacrificing (i don't even know what)...but... more in the lines of... let me be 'happy' for no reason...be my authentic self...accept my flaws ...practice wholeness in everything...be it work, friends,lovers,neighbors or even with a stranger...

I wish finally I could BBM HIM and say...Hey there Bro J, I know how much you love me... coz its difficult to take someone else s blame..and take a beating for it... and at the end of it say...they know not what they are doing but I love then anyways...Bro J... its hard for me to feel that love sometimes... but I know you do anyways... Let me not take that LOVE for granted like I do everything... my job, my friends,family..simple luxuries in life, happy moments and not so happy moments...Let me wake up every morning with a Smile and grateful heart... and thing how I can spread what blessing that I have received to another.. and when they say... K is so smiley and happy and when she walks into the room the room lights up! ... I smile within me and say.... bro J "I am Wearing the SMILE you GAVE me TODAY!!

Dreams are my Escape

Dreams are my escape - but I have to realize they are just a dream - NOT Reality.

lets talk of things that are forbidden... everything.. and I mean everything which is unapproachable create a deep desire unconscious to acquire it... to possess it becomes ur un-willed nature... because as history has knocked us like how an apple fell on Newton's head! lol... we Human take for granted what is in front of our eyes and easily accessible..no!

A friend of mine posted her status on FB on her sons V-day **who is months old or years..OK! I cant remember.. apologies...

ok here's the v-day story...He held a girl's hand. He tried to kiss her. She resisted. He turned and walked away. She chased, held on to him and refused to let go. He screamed to be released... So toddler love stories are the same as adult ones?

haha!! cute right..! but in reality not!

so how often do you go in a state of randomness...

see ... if u are reading this .. its has no chronological order**now i understand my lit prof. would kind of deduct my marks all da tyme... **yea and modern lingo or shall I say BBM talk does not count!

chatter! chatter! ... I think I have cultivated a habit of constant chattering.. and me thinks it continues in my sleep too... its almost autonomous..so now I am going to tame myself to go in grace and go slow... and stop with the randomness...

its a habit... right **wink! wink!

The honeymoon never ends

Came across this OSHO write-up and it struck a cord and put into words exactly what state of mind i am at when people do not understand why... i do not prefer tags or words that define people... why cannot two people be free flowing...

Love relates, but it is not a relationship. A relationship is something finished. A relationship is a noun; the full stop has come, the honeymoon is over. Now there is no joy, no enthusiasm, now all is finished. You can carry on with it, just to keep your promises. To do so is comfortable, convenient, and cosy. Perhaps you do it because there is nothing else to do. Perhaps you think that if you disrupt it, it is going to create much trouble for you… Relationship means something complete, finished, and closed.

Love is never a relationship; love is relating. It is always a river, flowing, unending. Love knows no full stop; the honeymoon begins but never ends. It is not a novel that starts at a certain point and ends at a certain point. It is ongoing. Lovers end, love continues. It’s a continuum. It’s a verb, not a noun.

And why do we reduce the beauty of relating to relationship? Because to relate is insecure, and relationship is a security. Relationship has a certainty; relating is just a meeting of two strangers, maybe in the morning we say goodbye. Who knows what the morrow brings? We would like tomorrow to be according to our ideas; so we reduce verbs to nouns.

You are in love and immediately you start thinking of getting married. Make it a legal contract. The law comes
into love because love is not there. It is only a fantasy, and you know the fantasy will disappear.
If you enjoy being with somebody, you would like to enjoy it more and more. If you enjoy the intimacy, you would like to explore the intimacy more and more. And there are a few flowers of love that bloom only after long intimacies. There are seasonal flowers too: within six weeks they are there, in the sun, but another six weeks and they are gone forever. There are flowers that take years to come… The longer it takes, the deeper it goes. But it has to be a commitment from one heart to another. It has not even to be verbalised, because to verbalise it is to profane it. It has to be a silent commitment, eye-to-eye, heart-to-heart, being-to-being. It has to be understood, not said. Forget relationships and learn how to relate.

Relating means you are always starting, you are continuously trying to become acquainted. Again and again, you are introducing yourself to each other. You are trying to see the many facets of the other’s personality.
You are trying to unravel a mystery that cannot be unravelled. That is the joy of love: the exploration of consciousness.

Its a Sacrifice

Lesson for Today Learn to sacrifice...

Most often people walk out of your life because its easier to do that then take courage have faith and work things out they hide behind oh! its practical no!

I hate being lied to... i rather sob.. and finish a box of tissues and end up listening to sob songs rather than being lied to!...me thinks...well people lie because its easier than to tell the truth its sad that they don't even try since its not easy to lower their pride

People don't know how to sacrifice... people profess their love through words... yes..why do relationships fail... because words,words stupid poetry and verses, dialogue from movies..have built this expectation that oh! everyone is now a master of impeccable dictions and and knowledge of everything love... i was born with the don juan gene so i can flatter everything that beautiful..what happened to the good old days of hand written cards, flowers and yes mix-tapes... we are so conditioned to think its so lame and close psycho behavior.... so we use words... emails,forwards,BBM;s .... because its easier than showing their love in actions..

I know that sometimes it can be hard to know if you are making a healthy sacrifice in a relationship or settling for something you shouldn’t.  Everyone has differences and every relationship requires sacrifice.  

It is good to know yourself to figure out whether you can make a change in yourself to make the relationship better or whether you should look for someone who doesn’t need you to change.

so all you silly romantics... like me.. who love sappy love songs and still go oohh at chessy words and believe in flowers and romantic walks ... may the power of love be yours....

Are You Happy?

Are you Happy?

“You created this moment …what are you going to do with it love?”

If you cannot say you are happy…then you have already chosen to be unhappy… sounds pretty optimistic..? Well you need to be …ever heard people say life is short! Live life kind size… blah! Blah! And even if we never admit it… we would absolutely love it… if ‘Life’ came with a manual! Or a FAQ column…:D

No because this isn't about just starting your day choosing to be happy.

The point is you choose everything!

You have so much control over your life and you just give it away to misery every time!

Why do you do that?

If life has you down, if traffic has you down, if work stinks, if your marriage/relationship stinks, if you just aren't happy then you need to be responsible for how you feel!

You need to take control of how you feel and MAKE yours choices so you are happy. Yes, your choices do have consequences.

Sometimes you may lose something you cherished in order to be happy…. Seem easy to say… but man! It’s difficult to let got! But that's when you need to get your scale out and do some weighing.

What is more important to you, your overall happiness and sanity, or the other thing you need to let go of that more than likely has its own lessons to learn and has nothing to do with you. Got it!

I didn’t get it then either… and had pretty choice words towards everyone and everything… at the end… I felt I was sitting on those rotaty thingy that we have in most of the gardens in India**with handles and you gotta use your legs for full-power!! Yea that one! … And watch people move one…continue with their happy, sad and mundane life… where do I fit into that equation… no-where…

So picked up ‘monk who sold the ferrari’ tried to meditate and failed… thoughts kept wondering to what to cook…will I get a call for that job I applied…need to lose weight…so on so forth…  

What to do… right! Progressive / vocal house to the rescue… download some nice **hot voices and plugged them into my ears… the moment I felt a tingle in the front of my forehead… I realized… I was doing the right thing…that is let go of guilt, Sorrow and Envy..

* Guilt – That it’s not your fault and nor is it anyone else’s … its life things happen for a reason …

* Sorrow – Mom passing away… had to change to grief to grace…

* Envy – where do I begin… life begins at 30 and I was hitting the slumps… so had to take the 1^st ladder to success which meant it begins with me…

So began the journey of power of intent! … yes intent…

I will win! Attitude… The concept of the secret is if someone believes they "will" get a million dollars it will come to them. If I send out to the universe to send me my soul mate before I am 35 then it will happen. If I create a board with all the things I want the universe will know I want them and give them to me. It I believe it will happen it will. Is this true? Yes and No.

So for now… I don’t know what tomorrow brings ... I am happy… which who is with and without me… I still stick to Life Minus Expectations Equals Unconditional Love... I would imagine life for one hour out of our day where you had no expectations of anyone! now I aspire to increase that hour or two to more…

Painless

Though it may sound simple, Ajahn Chah’s advice speaks volumes:

  "If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go alot, you will have a lot of peace"

Our brain is marvelous piece of technology! yes I call it so coz nothing and noone has been able to recreate what god has so uniquely made for FREE!!

Why I say this..? I have been emotionally drained and yet I feel a unsaid hope a feeling I cannot explain that tells me to smile without any reason and look at the lighter side of life, sometimes i think is it my belief in a supernatural power? or just the way I have been brought up i.e. to look at life as half full.

Often we replay past mistakes over and over again in our head, allowing feelings of shame or regret to take shape in our actions in the present.

The last 2 years have been very eventful for me, from losing my job, good friends, lovers and what not..but most of all my mother. I considered myself to be a very emotionally damaged person or somebody who would push or procrastinate feeling by saying for now this goes to my basement and I will deal with it later..

But the most amazing thing about this is that LIFE just kept revealing to me the side of me that I was never aware of... that is; we often cling to frustrations and worry about the future... I wondered how would I look after my mom how will I manage the sick leaves I took from work and yes the loan, the credit cards the rent...oh god how I pay it off. and I wasn't alone in all this ...you know what on one hand the person closest to me understood that I was going down the road to emotional and physical roller coaster there were others who just didn't bother.

I don't want to name names but there were unsung heroes in my life that made me feel much better than what i felt at that moment... you know when your spirit is weak all weird thoughts come into your head ... but at the same time my life took a uncluttered mode.. fake friends just fell off! poof gone.. and true ones just got stronger.

I am a simpleton at heart really am... I cant take hints and even if I give out a strong exterior I am sensitive and easily offended.. in the age of technology its easy to keep in touch with people... but most often we take people for granted... especially our family... when was the last time I said hello to an estranged or distant cousin...haha yes! yes! practice what you preach did i mention I was emotionally damages that included tell someone you love you true feeling... i'd rather sit next to you or buy you a gift or even patiently wait for you to come to meet me or my favorite I always burn a music CD for the ones I love rather than say it..

well enough for now more when I feel I should pour out... all the gibberish in my head..

take cre
Corti

Worthy or Not

People ordinarily think that forgiveness is for those who are worthy of it, who deserve it. But if somebody deserves, is worthy of forgiveness, it is not much of a forgiveness. You are not doing anything on your part; he deserves it. You are not really being love and compassion. Your forgiveness will be authentic only when even those who don't deserve it receive it.

It is not a question of whether a person is worthy or not.

The question is whether your heart is ready or not.


I can forgive the whole world for the simple reason that my forgiveness is absolute; it is nonjudgmental.


I will tell you a small Tibetan story which will make the point absolutely clear to you.

A great old master, worshiped by millions of people, refused to initiate anyone into disciplehood. His whole life, consistently, he was asked by kings, he was asked by very rich people, he was asked by great ascetics, saints, to be initiated as his disciples, and he went on refusing. He would always say, "Unless I find a man who deserves it, unless I find a man who is worthy of it...I am not going to initiate any Tom, Dick, Harry."

He had a small young boy who used to cook food for him, wash his clothes, fetch vegetables from the market. The boy himself had become slowly, slowly old and for his whole life he had been listening to the old man, who had lived almost one hundred years, and without exception the denial: nobody is worthy! "I will die," he said, "without initiating anyone, but I will not initiate anyone who is nondeserving."

People became tired, frustrated. They loved the man, the man had immense qualities, but they could not understand his very stubborn attitude — no kindness, no compassion.

But one morning the old man woke up his companion, who himself had become old, and said to him, "Run immediately down the hills to the marketplace and tell everybody that whoever wants to be initiated must come soon, because this evening as the sun sets I am going to die."

His companion said, "But what about worthiness? I don't know who is worthy and who is not worthy. Who have I to bring?"

The old man said, "Don't worry at all. It was only a device, because I myself was not worthy to initiate anyone, but it was against my dignity to say so. So I chose the other way round.

I was saying, 'Unless I find somebody worthy enough, deserving enough, I am not going to initiate.' The truth is, I was not worthy to be a master. Now I am, but the time is very short. Only this morning as the sun was rising, my own consciousness has also risen to the ultimate peak. Now I am ready. Now it does not matter who is worthy and who is unworthy. What matters now is that I am worthy.

Just go and fetch anybody! Just go and make the whole village aware that this is the last day of my life, and anybody who wants to be initiated should come immediately. Bring as many people as you can."